Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Wednesday's Laugh

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week.
Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I
had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed
everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 AM . The
trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to
spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene
when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to
make the full effort.

So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was
sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick was h in that area to
make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes
basket, put on some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in.
Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I undressed, hopped up on the
table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I
was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, 'My, we have made an extra
effort this morning, haven't we?' I didn't respond. After the appointment,
I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was
normal ... Some shopping, cleaning, cooking. After school when my 6 year
old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, 'Mommy, where's my

I told her to get another one from the cupboard.

She replied, 'No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my
glitter and sparkles saved inside it.'

Never going back to that doctor. Ever.

( With thanks to Kat for making my day start with laughter.)

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Grandpa Horton Rolls Up The Rim

Grandpa Horton : I have a secret honeypoo. I stole Ma's laptop again .
Martha : Hehehehehhee're such a bad boy !

Grandpa Horton : Sweetie, I feel like heading down to the shop for another coffee. What about you?
Martha : We have only been there 10 times in one day Big Daddy ..
Grandpa Horton : I know darlin' but its the beginning of Roll Up The Rim and you know how this old bugger likes free stuff.
Martha :
I feel like I am on coffee overload .. all I can see is Tim Horton cups everywhere .
Grandpa Horton :
Let's get rollin'..... I feel like a winner.
Martha :
You are a winner Poppykins.

"Grandpa Horton thinks he is the only one who knows how to type. I have been sitting on Ma's lap for 2 years and have learned a few new tricks. This the news according to Wiz : Roll Up the Rim has 40 Toyota RAV4's, 100 $10,000 Cash Prizes , 1,000 Toshiba Netbooks,
25,000 Tim Cards, and over 31,000 ,000 Food Prizes . I don't drink coffee but I eat anything so feel free to mail me all your food prizes. Time for a wiz......
Your bud (and Ma's ),

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Who Is This Crazy Lady?

I am sure that is what my neighbors were thinking if they happened to spot me yesterday morning at 6 a.m. chasing my German Shepherd Karma in the backyard snow with a foil pie plate, little Yorkie Wiz ball nipping at my heels. Let me backtrack. For months now , Karma has developed an ongoing allergy problem which will turn into a life long battle unless she mysteriously outgrows it the way she came into it. In order to rule out an UTI ( Urinary Tract Infection), it was my solemn duty to capture the first concentrated mid stream dog pee of the morning. The night before, I prepared like a soldier in battle . My winter parka , boots, pie plate and plastic container for the vet transport were all in close proximity for my morning pee mission. At 6 a.m. Tuesday morning I donned my battle apparel and headed outside to complete my purpose with the determination of a true soldier. Keep in mind I was still half asleep and in my pajamas. Karma and Wizzy were extemely happy to see me outside at this undogly hour and promptly decided that a game of chase me was the order of the day. Karma became the leader taking a mad dash with her toy in her mouth, I followed with the tin plate , and Wizzy followed the two of us yapping happily to be in this unusal morning parade. By the time Karma squatted I was too much of a distance away to retrieve the yellow gold . She stopped in mid stream when I yelled at her "Noooooooooooooo.....". Both dogs froze ,( I was frozen) and looked at me in shock. I could almost read their devious little minds ("What's with her ? Aren't we suppose to do this pee thing outside ?")
I knew what I had to do. I marched indoors like the trooper I am and came back with Karma's leash . I leashed my patient and took her promptly back to said urine area and repeated my bathroom command of "Hurry up!". Like clockwork, Karma released and I captured her urine sample in the foil pie plate which was tranferred to the disposable plastic for the animal hospital.
Both dogs proceeded inside with me. Mission accomplished.
Later on that day I found out the postive news that Karma did not have any urine infection.
Wiz was happy to be around all the wizzing....and as for me ,

I am forever labelled as the neighborhood crazy lady.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas The Sons Of Maxwell Came To Town

On Saturday evening the twelfth day of December, I shared the joy of Christmas in song when once again we were able to experience the sounds of the season with The Sons Of Maxwell. Don and Dave Carroll are two Timmins brothers, who with all of their fame abroad, still return home to their roots every holiday season to perform a Christmas concert for the townspeople. The concert is held in the same high school where they attended classes and many friends and relatives can be seen cheering them on from the audience. Maxwell and Sharon are the parents who take immense pride in the continued success of their two sons. Dave Carroll lost his luggage last year and in true songwriter style made his complaints known in a self produced musical video gone viral on You Tube. Seen by millions, United Breaks Guitars was an instant hit.
Don Carroll is the romantic crooner that captures hearts with his amazing smile and voice.
We joined in musical unison when Don sang Let It Snow though the weather outside was frightful, none of us seemed to care. Individually, they have achieved success with their own distinctive CDs. Together, they are a powerhouse duo that has produced a multitude of albums with a unique style all their own.
It takes a lot of organization , support, sponsorship and one super Mom for the concert to come together and be the sold out event it is year after year.
In the spirit of Christmas giving, I offer you this front row seat... as it was so kindly offered to us.

Let It Snow with Don Carroll

Johnny Cash Medley by The Sons Of Maxwell

Monday, December 07, 2009

Don't Stress Me Out ( To The Tune of Don't Fence Me In )

( With my apologies to Bing ) On Holiday Shopping:

Oh, give me stores , lots of stores under malls above,
Don't stress me out.
Let me shop through the wide open aisles that I love,
Don't stress me out.
Let me be by myself in the evenin' please ,
Listen to the children at the Christmas trees,
Don't elf me off and I ask you please,
Don't stress me out.

Just turn me loose, let me waddle in the Walmart ,
Underneath my own shoe laces,
Elbow my way through the masses, let me flounder to the counter,
Till I see the cashier's faces,
Don't elf me off.

I want to shop for the sales when the year commences,
And gaze at the prices till I lose my senses
And I can't look at labels and I can't stand menses,
Don't stress me out.
Santa, don't you stress me out.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Ma's Photos , Frost's Poetry

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.