Wednesday's Laugh

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week.
Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I
had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed
everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 AM . The
trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to
spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene
when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to
make the full effort.

So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was
sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick was h in that area to
make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes
basket, put on some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my
appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in.
Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I undressed, hopped up on the
table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I
was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, 'My, we have made an extra
effort this morning, haven't we?' I didn't respond. After the appointment,
I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was
normal ... Some shopping, cleaning, cooking. After school when my 6 year
old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, 'Mommy, where's my
washcloth?'

I told her to get another one from the cupboard.

She replied, 'No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my
glitter and sparkles saved inside it.'

Never going back to that doctor. Ever.

( With thanks to Kat for making my day start with laughter.)

Grandpa Horton Rolls Up The Rim

Grandpa Horton : I have a secret honeypoo. I stole Ma's laptop again .
Martha : Hehehehehhee ...you're such a bad boy !


Grandpa Horton : Sweetie, I feel like heading down to the shop for another coffee. What about you?
Martha : We have only been there 10 times in one day Big Daddy ..
Grandpa Horton : I know darlin' but its the beginning of Roll Up The Rim and you know how this old bugger likes free stuff.
Martha : I feel like I am on coffee overload .. all I can see is Tim Horton cups everywhere .
Grandpa Horton : Let's get rollin'..... I feel like a winner.
Martha : You are a winner Poppykins.

"Grandpa Horton thinks he is the only one who knows how to type. I have been sitting on Ma's lap for 2 years and have learned a few new tricks. This the news according to Wiz : Roll Up the Rim has 40 Toyota RAV4's, 100 $10,000 Cash Prizes , 1,000 Toshiba Netbooks,
25,000 Tim Cards, and over 31,000 ,000 Food Prizes . I don't drink coffee but I eat anything so feel free to mail me all your food prizes. Time for a wiz......
Your bud (and Ma's ),
Wizard

Who Is This Crazy Lady?

I am sure that is what my neighbors were thinking if they happened to spot me yesterday morning at 6 a.m. chasing my German Shepherd Karma in the backyard snow with a foil pie plate, little Yorkie Wiz ball nipping at my heels. Let me backtrack. For months now , Karma has developed an ongoing allergy problem which will turn into a life long battle unless she mysteriously outgrows it the way she came into it. In order to rule out an UTI ( Urinary Tract Infection), it was my solemn duty to capture the first concentrated mid stream dog pee of the morning. The night before, I prepared like a soldier in battle . My winter parka , boots, pie plate and plastic container for the vet transport were all in close proximity for my morning pee mission. At 6 a.m. Tuesday morning I donned my battle apparel and headed outside to complete my purpose with the determination of a true soldier. Keep in mind I was still half asleep and in my pajamas. Karma and Wizzy were extemely happy to see me outside at this undogly hour and promptly decided that a game of chase me was the order of the day. Karma became the leader taking a mad dash with her toy in her mouth, I followed with the tin plate , and Wizzy followed the two of us yapping happily to be in this unusal morning parade. By the time Karma squatted I was too much of a distance away to retrieve the yellow gold . She stopped in mid stream when I yelled at her "Noooooooooooooo.....". Both dogs froze ,( I was frozen) and looked at me in shock. I could almost read their devious little minds ("What's with her ? Aren't we suppose to do this pee thing outside ?")
I knew what I had to do. I marched indoors like the trooper I am and came back with Karma's leash . I leashed my patient and took her promptly back to said urine area and repeated my bathroom command of "Hurry up!". Like clockwork, Karma released and I captured her urine sample in the foil pie plate which was tranferred to the disposable plastic for the animal hospital.
Both dogs proceeded inside with me. Mission accomplished.
Later on that day I found out the postive news that Karma did not have any urine infection.
Wiz was happy to be around all the wizzing....and as for me ,

I am forever labelled as the neighborhood crazy lady.

Christmas Concert Timmins 2009 Sons of Maxwell

Sons of Maxwell Timmins 2009

On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas The Sons Of Maxwell Came To Town

On Saturday evening the twelfth day of December, I shared the joy of Christmas in song when once again we were able to experience the sounds of the season with The Sons Of Maxwell. Don and Dave Carroll are two Timmins brothers, who with all of their fame abroad, still return home to their roots every holiday season to perform a Christmas concert for the townspeople. The concert is held in the same high school where they attended classes and many friends and relatives can be seen cheering them on from the audience. Maxwell and Sharon are the parents who take immense pride in the continued success of their two sons. Dave Carroll lost his luggage last year and in true songwriter style made his complaints known in a self produced musical video gone viral on You Tube. Seen by millions, United Breaks Guitars was an instant hit.
Don Carroll is the romantic crooner that captures hearts with his amazing smile and voice.
We joined in musical unison when Don sang Let It Snow though the weather outside was frightful, none of us seemed to care. Individually, they have achieved success with their own distinctive CDs. Together, they are a powerhouse duo that has produced a multitude of albums with a unique style all their own.
It takes a lot of organization , support, sponsorship and one super Mom for the concert to come together and be the sold out event it is year after year.
In the spirit of Christmas giving, I offer you this front row seat... as it was so kindly offered to us.
Enjoy.
http://sonsofmaxwell.com/
http://www.davecarrollmusic.com/

Let It Snow with Don Carroll





Johnny Cash Medley by The Sons Of Maxwell

Don't Stress Me Out ( To The Tune of Don't Fence Me In )

( With my apologies to Bing ) On Holiday Shopping:


Oh, give me stores , lots of stores under malls above,
Don't stress me out.
Let me shop through the wide open aisles that I love,
Don't stress me out.
Let me be by myself in the evenin' please ,
Listen to the children at the Christmas trees,
Don't elf me off and I ask you please,
Don't stress me out.

Just turn me loose, let me waddle in the Walmart ,
Underneath my own shoe laces,
Elbow my way through the masses, let me flounder to the counter,
Till I see the cashier's faces,
Don't elf me off.

I want to shop for the sales when the year commences,
And gaze at the prices till I lose my senses
And I can't look at labels and I can't stand menses,
Don't stress me out.
Stop.
Santa, don't you stress me out.

Ma's Photos , Frost's Poetry

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Happy Cake & Candle Day To Natalie

Today is the day I gave birth to my second daughter. It seems like yesterday that I held her in my arms and was overcome with emotion in the joy of her arrival into my world.The years go by and still I am overcome with the joy of her arrival each time she visits. Whether she was digging dead goldfish up for show and tell or flashing that megawatt smile of hers, I always knew she was something special.
I could not be prouder of her radio accomplishments but more than that, I am proud of the person she has grown into ..respectful and compassionate towards all life, loving and giving to others. With her grandfather's sense of humor and her own unique facial expressions, Natalie can bring out the laughter in anyone when they need it the most.
Thirty four years ago today around dinnertime, I will remember her arrival with my own secret smile and a heart full of love.
Happy Birthday Natalie.

Remember The Heroes

You will not recognize their faces. You will not know their names. You may not know which country they died in or how they lost their lives.
You can honor their memory and remember the heroes who gave you freedom today.
Bow your head for our veterans at the 11th hour of the 11th day on the 11th month.
Lest we forget. Never.

The Red and White

For the brave men and women who keep us free :

Harvey McPhee was my father
Harvey served in World War Two
Just like him they were all young men
Lord knows what they went through.
I remember on Remembrance Day
Dad saluted those who fought and died
I can’t imagine what he was thinking
When I saw the tears in my father’s eyes.


This country these days it seems
Is not proud as it should be
Do we care about our Heroes anymore.
Do we take the time to thank a soldier
For everything they do.
Have we forgotten those brave souls who fought and died
For the Red and White

I knew a man who served in Korea
He came back a different man
He went over for his country
To fight in a foreign land
He took to pills and the bottle
To numb his nightmares and his pain
He went to war barely 19
Bob Archer was his name



This country these days it seems
Is not as proud as it used to be
Do we care about our Heroes anymore
Do we take the time to thank a soldier
For everything they do
Have we forgotten those poor souls who fought and died
For the Red and White

Coporal Jamie Murphy
Just 26 from Newfoundland
Was days away from coming home
When he was killed in Afghanistan
He never had a hope in hell
Al-Qaida bomber took his life
So far away from his home, on Green Route Road
That solider died for the Red and White

This country sometimes,
Makes me so damn mad I could cry
Cause we never thank our heros enough anymore
How many of us thank a soldier for everything they do
We can’t forget all those who serve who sacrifice
All for the Red and White

Lest we forget our heros, who fought and died,
For the Red and White

For the Red and White.

Julian Austin on 12-10-2006

How I Met Your Mother @ Tim Hortons

It is no secret that Tim Hortons has been invading the United States for over a decade now and tomorrow night they reach their prime when Tim Hortons is the primary backdrop for the CBS sitcom "How I Met Your Mother."
Although I am not a fan of the show, I am a fan of Tim Hortons and I will be watching this episode at 8p.m. local time on Monday October 19th ...which is tomorrow night for all of you who are lost in space with the boy in the balloon.
Apparently this show was nominated for an Emmy award this year for best comedy.
Though Tim Hortons is not in the storyline , the subliminal advertising is a a subtle way of invading the American mind to try our coffee and leave the dunking zone behind.
The best part of the whole deal is that Neil Patrick Harris ( a.k.a. Doogie Howser) will be the actor featured in the fake Timmies.
From a marketing perspective Tim Hortons on prime time T.V. is a definite winner.
( " I would like to thank my managers, my staff , my customers , my family , my dogs for giving me this award for best dam coffee in the entire world ....exit stage right ".)

The Art of the Pee Handstand or The World Is My Toilet According To Wizzy

The blogger heading may be the longest title I have written for a post. I just could not decide so you got both of them. Those of you who follow my musings are aware that my little yorkie has luxating patella which is a fancy terminology for dislocating kneecaps due to hereditary problems and a bad breeder who shall remain nameless. I have discussed the surgery with my vet many times. After much research,we have both come to the conclusion that we will delay the operation until such time it effects his mobility or it becomes too painful for him. Wizzy can run like the wind, never cries, and can jump like a trooper. You would never know he has a knee impediment unless you watched him hop, skip and slide the bone back in place.( This drives me crazy as I have a long time knee phobia of my own). My little lover has adapted to his weaker leg in the most peculiar way. Wizard loves his walks. The world is his toilet. He wants the neighborhood to know he is around the town. He has his favorite posts and hydrants and loves to stop at every one of them. He is not nor has he ever been a squatter. Wizzy is a real boy leg lifter. Problem is he has had to compensate for his back leg weakness and often he will stop and pee on the poles doing his unique little handstand balancing on his front paws only. He navigates his stream with male pride and the joy of release. He will often turn to me for the words 'good boy ' and I reciprocate with a treat assuring his place in the big world. I suppose it may seem a strange sight to others watching a little furball doing a 'pawstand' for a pee break. For Wiz and I , it has become a normal occurrence. I have often meant to bring my camera to catch the pee performance in progress. One day I will...until then ..
we continue on our merry way until we reach the next pitstop that needs a Wiz mark.

Hats Off To Dawn

Today is my eldest daughter's birthday. When she was a little girl we use to listen to the singing story book of Johnny Fedora and Alice Blue Bonnet. It was the story of finding true love and once you find the perfect fit to never give up on it because the world can be an empty and lonely place without it. Disney knew what he was talking about. May your story always have a happy ending and may you always find love, know love, give love and be loved.

Love ,

Mom xoxoxo

His Brother's Keeper

Ted Kennedy was the keeper of his own children as well as his brothers'. More than that, he became the keeper of his nation by living by the words he spoke. Watching his funeral today, I felt the triumph more than the tragedy. The President and Ted's sons paid tribute to a man who by his own admission was far from perfect and yet became the greatest legislator of his time. The Kennedy family will surely miss this boisterous Irishman as will his friends, supporters and adversaries. Ted Kennedy may never have made it to the highest office in the land yet he lived his dream and fulfilled his destiny. As the Arlington flame shines eternal so will the Kennedy legacy.... three brothers together at last.

GoD And DoG

A dear friend sent me this and I wanted to share with all of you.
For those of you who have ever loved a special dog in your life , you will relate to the words and want to rush right over and hug your dogs .
I know I did.

United Breaks Guitars: Song 2

We could be best buddies if you come to your senses and watch the second installment by Timmin's own Dave Carroll lamenting on the damage done to his Taylor guitar. This song is lighthearted, pure fun and I loved the butt grab.
Now the world has to wait for the last song in the trilogy of United Breaks Guitars. Music and laughter, innuendo and sarcasm .....I wanted to dance in the field with all of your family and be a part of the human guitar.

The Big Question of The Day

Do I need a hair hump? Do any of us really need a hair hump? For those of you not in the know , a hair hump is a plastic contraption that is advertised for $19.99 to add height to your hair style similar to the bee hive look of the sixties. You can tease the heck out of your hair with a comb and spray the bejesus out or do it the easy way with a hair hump ....or is it bump ?
Either way I just can't decide if I need one hump or two.

Here Lies My Memory

Beneath this sacred cross lies my memory.
Of what used to be and yet I still know not.
I know not what it is that I am supposed to remember.
For here lies my memory, gone long before my flesh.
The flesh of a body that contains a shell,
and for what purpose I cannot tell.
Some say it is best that I do not remember,
the only thing I know is what I see before me.
At least in this moment, what was, what is and what shall
be eludes me.
So I sit here in this rocking chair looking up at a sacred cross,
and maybe I remember a little of what that means.
Or all the while not despairing , I can only hope that He
who was on that cross, will remember me.
Far beyond the time when I cannot remember Him or myself.
Maybe that is all I need to know,
Always remember I loved you so.

In loving memory of "Mamanoona" who is finally free of the pain of this earth and is in the loving arms of our Lord.
For Suzanne , who loved and cared for her mother through all the years of Alzheimers..a loving example of courage and strength. Your mother's spirit lives on in you.
The 'long goodbye' has ended

Test Pattern of Life

When I was a little kid, I remember staring at this image on our old black and white television waiting for the Saturday morning cartoons. I never knew what it meant , still don't . My parent's just called it "the test pattern". It reminds me of a purgatory before all the good stuff happens. That is how I feel right now that I am in one of life's test patterns and I have to hold on tight , have faith, be patient and wait for all the good stuff to come my way. Fate has literally blindsided me in the back when I was not looking and left me hospitalized and bedridden. For the last few weeks, pain was a constant and morphine was my friend. I need time to rebuild and regain my physical strength.
Without health there is nothing.
I leave you with the test pattern. Enjoy the fleeting days of summer.
Love Ma ( 'the good stuff' )