The Secret to Health & Vitality

Sitting here with my coffee , Karma by my side switching channels on a lazy snowy Sunday morning . I began to watch two well dressed men praise the virtues of the Almighty cleansing and I figured what the hell a few words of religious wisdom never hurt anyone . We are all sinners and our bodies are toxic and need to be drained and cleansed at least 3 times a day after each meal......UH ?..I was expecting a few words of salvation when I came to the conclusion that not all sinners pass 10 foot stools like long black rubber hoses with little or no cramping or gurgling .Yep it was an infomercial for colon cleansing .Apparently we are jammed packed full of living parasites,some up to 10 feet of Loch Ness tapeworms . We will all feel a lot lighter and better without 10 pounds of fecal matter sitting in our bloated intestines every day of our lives .Dr. Danny proudly stated that being fecal free will cure depression ,cancer,allergies ,joint pain ,acne ,increase energy levels and a host of colon cleansing attributes including a sexual libido that would make a porn star blush. Damn and all this time I am having Fibre1 cereal and fresh fruit for breakfast when I should be on my own poop vacuuming mission of mercy .Medical doctors advise against this drastic method of ripping our insides out but Dr.Danny said that he should know the real facts because he has worked in a health food store for almost six years now and that $89.99 plus shipping and handling was a small price to pay for feeling as wonderful and nice smelling as he did .He almost had me convinced that I needed to be saved until the distinct odour of a passing fart brought me to my senses and I let Karma out for a doggie doo. I came to the conclusion that Dr. Danny ,despite his best efforts , was still full of it .