Monday my cat Redford went to the animal hospital for what is termed a senior citizen check up . Like most pets, this is not one of his favourite places to spend the day . After all this is the place that had declawed and deballed him as a kitten. When he goes , it is a major undercover operation . We never mention the word *vet * or act like scooping out his poop and bagging it is anything out of the ordinary . I learned years ago to keep his kennel out of sight or he will vanish quicker than you can say Garfield. One time , I had to actually call and cancel his appointment because he was no where to be found . To this day I still could not tell you where his hiding place was . I can still hear the snickering of the staff when they knew Redford had once again pulled off the hide and seek game and I was the loser . Having lost this game several times, I have resorted to some underhanded trickery of my own . I throw a few treats into a bathroom and when he goes for them I lock him in , and then and only then , do I get his kennel . When I am ready , I put him inside as fast as I can while he meows profanities and gives me dirty looks . Once we are are in the building , he knows I have won this round and he turns his back to everybody but just before he does I get one last look of disdain and then I leave him in their capable hands. Redford is one tough cat cookie . He has lorded over not one but two german shepherds . Later that day I returned for my sweet orange boy . When the vet entered the waiting room I asked him " so how is old cranky ass today ?" .. and he replied " well , I am just fine and yourself ? " At that moment I think my face was redder than Redford . We made it safely home without any spraying in the car . Redford surveyed his kingdom and demanded a Fancy Feast for all that he had endured . The kennel was hidden for another year and as for old cranky ass ..he is in tip top shape for an old guy . All he needed was his anal glands emptied .( Redford not the vet . )
5 comments:
Aside from the nightmarish visual that the last parenthesized comment conjured up, that was a very enjoyable post.
My fave picture is the first one -- Cranky Ass enjoys a beer and some Milk Bone, like a manly cat should. Photoshop a smoke in his mouth and it's complete. Have to tell you, though, that my cat Kuro outdoes Cranky Ass in vet-visit psychosis. She's easily lured into the carrier with a catnip toy, but HOWLS all the way to the vet. Last time we were there, she started off well, sniffed gingerly around the room, decided she was obviously the dominant creature, and sat on the table. Then the vet touched her. This was a mistake. Next thing I know, my beloved feline is backed against a wall, hissing, spitting, and GROWLING. My cucumber cool vet said "o.k. we want her to hate me rather than you. I'll throw a towel over her, you open the carrier. And next time, I think we'll use a sedative."
oh yeah...and Cheryl F is me, Sherri -- having a blogging identity crisis :)
wow everyone has some intresting nicknames in the Lauzon Household! I could only imagine what Holiday dinner is like in the house. lol
If you look closely in the first photo .you can see Dawniepants ..and Sherri baby ..her Sampson has all other felines beat in the physcho department .Must be all that smog in T Dot making you forget your own nic .
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