Miracle Whip On 34th Street

Okay so it was really low fat mayonnaise and there was no 34th street . Let me explain . My sister ( God bless her ) is always looking for new ways and products to help our skin look 12 again . The other day she sent me this homemade recipe to eliminate the crows that are blatantly strutting around our eye area . It calls for Kraft Miracle Whip slathered over your face , left on for 10 minutes , then you massage it in small circles and it exfoliates and , according to her , leaves you with younger , glowing skin . Last night I gave it a try . I subsituted low fat mayo for the original KMW and followed her instructions . No sooner had I done the deed when Karma followed her nose . Strong on the scent of vinegar , she spotted me , jumped up and washed me down like a macaroni salad . Feeling like a dog buffet , I went to the sink and decided that dog drool and mayo did nothing for my complexion . In fact , I looked like I had been in the Dominican for a month without sunscreen. I mean ruby RED ! Panicing , I called my sister who insisted that my skin was called glowing and not red . I had another word for it - irritated . In between her laughter she said and I quote " .. so I suppose this means you are not interested in the mashed banana moisturizing mask ? " I have decided to eat my food and not wear it .