"... Boom what you do to me , it's so new to me . " Karma and I sashayed into the room , one of us in heat . Our dog obedience class was in session . It seemed like all eyes were on us , that somehow the dogs and their respective owners knew Karma was "that way ". I had my trusty paper towels in my jean pocket , ready for any sign of embarrassment on my part . We walked the runway like old pros . It wasn't long before Karma was batting her dog lashes at a gorgeous red Irish Setter . One sniff and we discovered she was nothing but a bitch , so we moved on . When Karma began sitting like a slut , I was wishing I had spent the thirty bucks on the pink , ruffled pull ups for dogs in season. Even the eight cupped black lace push up might have hid the obvious . And black net stockings on her beautifully tanned legs ... all four of them. My thoughts were crazy with fantasy clothing for the call of the wild . Then their brown eyes met across a crowded room . Some enchanted evening . A shiny black stud of a Labrador . Was it me or was my dog swaying her hips just a little too much for public dog decency ? The class was ending . I ran out dragging Mae West behind me . You know the old saying ...once you go black lab you never go back .
To be continued ...
7 comments:
Yeah, well, if something DOES happen, don't just blame the guy dog. You said yourself that Karma was acting like a slut. It takes two to tango, y'know.
You know what they say about having kids, er, dogs: When you have a boy, you only have to worry about one little pecker. When you have a girl, you gots to worry about all the little peckers.
The fact that you're fantasizing about what kind of sexy boudoir clothing you can buy for your dog has me just a little worried about you...
She gets too hungry, for dinner at eight.
She loves the theatre, but doesn't come late.
She'd never bother, with pooches she'd hate.
That's why the lady is a tramp.
... and then there's Karma...
;-) (Sorry Ma, I just couldn't hold back...)
I actually think, given that many dog-people have a real sick perversion for dressing up their dogs... that Ma's kinky clothing ideas is just a natural progression...
Hey I think there is an entirely untouched market out there for dog boudoir outfits . More and more pet owners dress their mutts ...just ask N@ . Baby boomers buy dogs to replace empty nest syndrome . Well, not Jb ..he just made babies . So ..who wants to invest ?
Ackchooally, we covered a dog show for our newscast on Saturday. Those people are the canine version of baby pageant parents, going all JonBenet on their dogs.
Our videographer almost got kicked out. She was shooting video during the sit and stay part of the competition, and when she moved away, one of the pooches tried to follow her. Mama threw a hissy fit, wanted Jeni kicked out, and another chance for her stupid son of a bee-atch.
Kinda creepy. Ma, don't be one of those people, 'kay? The dogs have more brains.
Bobbycakes ..I will nevah be one of those people .
...Yes, but I don't fanatasize about dressing up the babies in sexy boudoir outfits...as a matter of fact, I'm trying to figure out a plan that will keep my daughter content to just stay at home after school every night until she's about - I don't know, maybe - 30.
;-)
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