Yesterday I was verbally goosed by Santa Claus in a plastic pumpkin patch . He sang Jingle Bells to me in the Halloween department . Have you noticed how retailers have taken to displaying both holidays simultaneously ? No wonder we always feel like we are late for a very important date . The world keeps on spinning faster all the time . In order to prepare my self for the speed of life , I have decided to meet the momentum head on . I will wear all four seasons of clothes in order to peel off quickly as the weather changes . I will wear size nine boots with size 8 runners with size 6 sandals inside . I will eat all three meals in the morning in order to save time for the rest of the day . I will walk faster , eat faster , blog faster , read faster , shop faster in order to prepare myself for the speed of retail . There is no time to smell the coffee . Run. Run . Run . Faster and faster .
STOP. BREATHE . SLOW DOWN . I for one refuse to get caught up in the insane commercialism that advertises the fact that this year I really need to have a life like talking chimpanzee in my home for the holidays .
A life like fuzzy pony .... maybe ...
7 comments:
Please don't hate me... but I've already bought some new Christmas Decorations...
I LIVE for Christmas and cannot wait til the shops are full of new stuff... I have to hold myself back... I'm not allowed to decorate the house til Dec 1...
Unbeknownst to Didier, I start listening to Christmas Music by Mid Nov on my Ipod.
By the time Christmas actually rolls around, it looks like the Santa's Village, North Pole exploded at my place.
I bake a *BLEEP*load of cookies and loaves and such too!
And this year we're making our own Christmas Cards!!! I C-A-N-N-O-T- WAIT!
Martha is an amature compared to me.
I DID say 'don't hate me' right?
Is the Halloween section near the Bit o' Bum section at Wallyworld?
And Kitty, no offence, boyfriend, but my sister-in-law, Candy, would have you wearing a paper hat and a badge that says "Kitty -- In Training".
The family joke (and it's solidly based in reality) is that she starts decorating for Halloween on Labour Day. She then dresses up to shell out on the big day, often taking my brother down with her (last year, they were a retired couple ready to leave for Florida -- hi-freakin'-larious!). And as the knocks at the door start to die down, she starts tearing down Halloween decorations, and starts decorating for Christmas.
Last year, she slowed down a bit on the entire process, and her kids -- who are both grown up -- were seriously worried. It was the first year neither one of them lived at home, and they were afraid their Mom had fallen into a deep, empty nest-induced depression. But she came around.
I love my nutty family. "Normal" families are too weird and creepy.
Ma - The "peeling of the clothing" thing you're going to be doing...Will I be able to find that on YouTube?
Also, one of my best friends in the world - and a former bandmate of mine - has the world's most Christmas-Enthusiastic Mom. A wonderful woman who actually gets a little sad when the holiday ends. She'd prefer it lasted all year, I think. When it's on a personal level, I think the enthusiasm for the Christmas season is lovely and charming. When it's on a retail level, it really doesn't have anything to do with the reason I celebrate Christmas.
Ma, don't forget to get back to us when you get your peeler video launched.
Kitty, I can't bake if my life depended on it. This year I am expecting something cookie Christmass-y a la Kitty.
If we only had Christmas like every 5 years I could probably really get into it and if I weren't so exhausted from meeting all the expectations of Christmas, I might be able to get into some of the fun stuff. Then again, I hate decorating anything and I can't bake, so maybe not.
Maria I'll send you my all time fav recipe for whipped shortbreads. I'l telling you that your family will worship you like a goddess after making these...
Sorry Kitty I don't think you heard me the first time... I don't bake.
I am expecting YOU to make me whatever it is your whipping up and deliver it in a Christmas Tin. HAR! HAR! HAR!
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