Inquiring ( or nosy ) minds wanna know how my night at the hospital was. Here is the scoop. I slept . I surprised myself that I did manage to sleep considering the amount of wires I had attached to my body. I packed up my little overnight bag and was there by 9 pm Tuesday night . There were actually 4 of us going to be monitored that night for sleep apnea . I had the largest room with the smallest bed . It was half the size of a single bed . I handed in my book like questionnaire , got my jammies on , sat down , and got all wired up. This took over one half hour. The nurse explained what I could expect through the night and the whys and the wherefores of all the wiring . I had glue on my scalp and through my hair in order to hold the electrodes . My legs , midriff , arms and even one of my fingers were taped and attached with wires . The signals reached the adjacent computer room where two technicians would monitor my breathing patterns , brain waves , heart rate , pulse ( and who knows maybe my gas emissions ) until 6 am the following morning . I went for one last before bedtime tinkle , hoping that none of my wires would end up in the toilet water and I would end up as Wednesday's headline . Donut Queen gets fried .
As I settled in for a long winter's nap on my 8 inches of sleeping space , the nice nurse strapped yet another wire package above my chest and one on my waist . If that was not enough two more wires were put into both nostrils. I thought how will I ever get to dreamland in this contraption ? I was also told I would be videotaped throughout the night to study my sleeping positions . Great . My yoga child pose should make interesting film fodder .
The lights went out . Wired up or not , I slept . I remember waking up a few times . I wanted to wave but thought better of it . Before I knew it , it was 6 am and the tech woke me up . Another half hour to unwire my body . I asked why in heck there was not some type of wireless technology happening here yet . The hospital crew wondered the same thing . Another questionaire on how I slept and I was free to go .
I should know the results in about a month .
If my boring sleep tape should ever make the black market (a la Paris Hilton ) , N@ will most likely post it under ....
TMZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.COM .
5 comments:
With all this medical technology they couldn't do a wireless test?
You would think if they could put a man on the moon...
Tell me about it .
So did you dream about me? Will that show up on the videotape too?
I dreamt about being tied up and lo and behold I was .
tmzzzz...very clevah, mama!!
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