Thursday, June 12, 2008

A Bloodletting Near The Tostitos

Firstly,  let me state that I have never been a calm candidate for the sight of blood , my own or anyone elses . The nursing profession was never on my list of career choices . It is a known fact that I cannot even stomach the meat department at grocery stores . The look of liver makes me gag . Even though I might  enjoy a cooked barbecued steak once in a while during the summertime , filet mignon swimming in its bloody brine is not my thing . So there I was grocery shopping late in the afternoon yesterday  enjoying the peace and quiet of the organic fruit area . I picked up a few premade salads at the deli and continued on my placid way to the whole grained breads . I recall this lady passing me in a adorable little outfit for warm weather ....  black capris and a matching  patterned  blouse with accessorised shoes , cutesy little black and white espadrilles  with little bows . I was dressed as usual in jeans . Why am I such a fashion faux pas when I watch "What Not To Wear " religiously every Friday night ? I bought some cranberry raisin  focaccia bread for morning toasting and continued to the snack area contemplating my lack of fashion sense .
I turned the corner and there she was ... Ms . Cute Little Espadrille lady sitting on the floor holding her ankle  in a pool of blood . Oooooh and  it was not even the meat area . The scene looked like a pig butchering . There was so much blood . Like a good little grocery shopper samaritin,  I asked her what happened ..oh my god ..and could I help . I reached for kleenex in my purse and a small foam hand sanitizer , which is all I had in my purse for first aid . The lip gloss was useless . She said she had just walked too close to a metal edging on a shelf near the tostitos and the steel jutting out had caught the skin on her ankle . It was a small but  deep incision  that had caught her smack dab on her ankle vein so she was a spewing red stuff like a salsa . Lord I felt like adding to the  special sauce with a little bile of my own but I managed to swallow it back . Finally a shocked young stock boy came by with paper towels and I said you should get a mop and a pail . There was that much blood ! The photo manager came by with a few bandaids . The kid was mopping  up the bloody mess by this time . The lady said she was fine so I made a hasty exit for the safe and non bloody frozen food boxes . I am assuming there was an accident report made but who knows . Although I felt nauseous,  I bought not one but two flavors of frozen yogurt to ease the pain . Dark chocolate is such a great healer . Like victims of a massacre we passed one another again , Ms. Espradille and I . We exhanged pleasantries and she said the store was going to compensate by paying for the cost of her newly red shoes . ( I noted she had dark chocolate in her cart as well . ) 
I wished her well and like bit players in a third rate horror movie we walked in opposite directions . I thought to myself :
"Bloody  hell that woman needs a tetanus shot ... and I need a drink ."

5 comments:

Bob said...

See what would have happened to YOU if you had been a grocery store fashion plate?
But you're a good soul for stopping to help her, Ma, despite your aversion to blood.
Bobbycakes might be such an ass, but he's proud of you.

JB said...

So I'm reading along, and I thought you were going to write, "The photo manager came by and took a few pictures"!
...but thankfully, there's no one quite that cruel in your neck of the woods.
Hope she got it checked out by a professional after she checked out.

Maria said...

Did you have to explain the blood part in such detail? I am feeling woozy?

I hope she's OK...

Sean Newbury said...

MA! Lip gloss is NEVER useless. What if the press had arrived and started taking pictures, and you had no sheen on them thar lips?!? Be prepared. Apply the gloss. At ALL times! Apply the gloss.

Ma Horton said...

Dam you are so right ..what was I thinking ?? Hey I was very woozy ...made me sick to be around food bc all I could think of was the blood.