Friday, March 30, 2007

Mean Kitty

Mean Kitty lasted about a week . Cammy Camel less than that and Ellie Elephant busted her fluff almost immediately . I am in search of a plush doggy toy that my pup's chompers won't shred for at least a month . Besides that the financial aspect of it all is peeving me off although I do realize it's way less expensive than replacing a sofa . Karma loves to chew and she demolishes Busy Bone in 15 minutes or less and Healthy Edibles in seconds . Kong ( not King ) is only her favourite when it has a cheez whiz surprise inside it . I give her one raw bone every day on the advice of my breeder even though it grosses me out . She is also a digger and likes to hide her stock . Ma's golf course should be ready by June . Feel free to leave me any advice while I leave for the pet store once again . Grrrrrrrrrr........

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Thought for the Day

Sometimes ...when you cry one sees your tears ...

Sometimes ...when you are worried ... no one sees your pain ...

Sometimes ... when you are happy ... no one sees your smile ...

But fart just one time ...

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Call Me Juice Newton

Who the heck would call their kid "Juice " anyways ? JB wins a glass of Ma's homemade juice goof . I love this freakin' machine . I have been squishing apples , carrots , celery , beets , oranges , spinach and drinking my own version of love potion # 9 every morning . It's entertaining to watch too and clean up is a snap . Speaking of cleaning up , the extra fibre is doing it's job in that department too . Can't call me an uptight old broad anymore . La la la la la love it !

Whatizit ?

a) Ma's new ice cream making machine

b) A penis enlarger ( oops can I say that ..oh right , it is my site )

c) A futuristic pooper scooper

d) The Stanley Cup

e) none of the above

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

"... and They Called It Puppy Love ..."

Spring is for puppies too . Imagine not one , not two , but three puppies all at one time . We visited a friend last week who has welcomed three Golden Retriever puppies into their family . Meet Chloe , Xander , and JJ . They are blonde , cute, lovable , and quite the handful. James is the 12 year old male who has taken to puppy sitting his brood of triplets . They are beautiful puppies with sweet dispositions and are with a people family that will love and care for them forever. Now that's what I call puppy love ....and lotsa work !

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Beautiful , Beautiful , Brown Ears

I saw something today I wish I had never seen . This afternoon I was taking care of True while my daughter worked . Her dog has a case of panostetis , a traveling arthritis that happens sometimes in rapidly growing large dogs . He will outgrow it but for now she must limit his exercise for a little while . I had him on the leash with me while we enjoyed the afternoon sunshine in her backyard . Molly was next door . She is a cute Basset Hound that is smaller than the norm and is about the same age as our pups . She stood watching us proudly overlooking her latest stool delivery . Then she bent her lovely head down and ate three quarters of her sh** , her long velvet brown ears dipping over the entire mess . Is it just me or are more and more dogs eating their own poop ? I called her name and she gave me back a small howl as if to say "..well if you read the news lady , this is safer to eat then our own dog food these days ." I cannot argue with that fact . Don't get me wrong . Molly is a sweetheart . I am sure she has many better attributes besides being a feces eating, spotted pork link . Before I left she had literally cleaned up her act and gave me a one final look at her hind end , clean as a whistle , just like the yard . Now I know why .

It's Here

I can smell it . It's moving ever so slowly underneath the dirty snow . It's in the snap of the melting ice and the rushing of the water to the culverts. It's in the prance of my dog as she sees objects and sounds all new to her . It's in the scent of dead grass and chalk like feces left irresponsibly behind . It's in the sand on the road and the forgotten salt on the cars . It's in the sky as the birds circle and call over to each other for their timeless ritual . It's in the laughing eyes of the neighborhood kids with new skipping ropes . It's in the whoosh of the bicycles racing by you . It's in the surprise of a red tulip braving the chill of the morning air . It's in the glass being windexed to let the light shine in after the frost . It's in the smile of the people you pass who are eager to walk in the hope of a new day . It's Spring ..and it's here ...finally .

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Spring is for Babies ...

.... even old ones . I actually remember that day though I was barely 3 years old at the time . My parents took my older brother and I to my grandmother's house to get our pictures taken . In later years , I recall my mother telling me that my little skirt was sewn from an old woolen plaid scarf and she kept the little pink sweater for years after I had outgrew it . She would painstakingly put my straight fine hair into pin curls and make faces to get me smiling for the camera . I had the kind of chubby cheeks that every relative thought was fun to pull and koochy koo ... still do...some things you never out grow .

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Smile , Feel Good and Be Happy Pictures

By special request , the beautiful , blue angel eyes of Jaden . There are just some photos that need no words to express the wonder , joy and innocence of childhood . I held this baby in my arms on the day of her birth over a year ago and all the memories of my own babies came flooding back . If only Time had a speed limit on happy moments . She is a delight to all who have the good fortune to meet her and she is truly loved by her very special parents and family . I picture her gracing the cover of a major magazine one day and saying ..." I knew her when ..."

Monday, March 19, 2007


My name is Ma and I am a shampooaholic . My latest purchase was Sunsilk liquid gold to get rid of the flats . The bright yellow bottle joins the rest of my sacred collection of shampoos for volumizing , taming , texurizing and curling . Mousses are a close second in the hair perfection game . I admit I am a sucker for hair marketing strategies . I have Pantened , Vivaed , Doved , Herbal Essenced , (highly over rated in the shower ) , Aussied , Infusiumed , Wellaed , La Couped , Hair and Maned my head hoping for something I will never have .... thick , curly hair . My daughter and my sister both have brave new haircuts . Every time I think about changing my classic Diane Keaton look into something new and different there is always somebody on the exact week of my next hair cut who will casually remark how much they like my hair . Friggin' follicles .. I have done the poodle , the Farah , the dutch boy , the too blonde , the mousey blonde , and the highlighted blonde . The last few years as I become more indecisive I am blonde , redhead and brunette . Call me schizophrenihair . So here is the question . Help Ma find a new look and win a date with one of Ottawa's most eligible bachelors to a one and half star eatery ( drinks not included ) .
What should I do with my hair ?

Saturday, March 17, 2007

"When Irish Eyes are Smiling

...Sure 'tis like a morn in Spring . " It seems on St .Patricks Day we all have a bit of the Irish in us . Somewhere in my family tree sits some red nosed Irishman joking with his pub pals , throwing back a pint of Guinness and singing Danny Boy 'from glen to glen and down the mountainside' ...and that's no blarney . This must be why green is my favourite colour and why nothing can make me feel better inside than a shamrocking good laugh . One of the most beautiful pair of smiling eyes I have ever seen shine from my adopted grandaughter Jaden .
" In the lilt of Irish laughter
You can hear the angels sing
When Irish hearts are happy
All the world seems bright and gay
And when Irish eyes are smiling
Sure they steal your heart away."

Thursday, March 15, 2007

One Big Smile

My daughter Dawn said something to me the other day that is so appropriate . She said " Mom , whenever I think of Karma , I think of one big smile ". As I watch my puppy learn and grow into this beautiful and intelligent breed I know more then ever why she was meant to be with me . Her size will be as large as her faithful heart and I love her more each day .

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Our Fellow Graduates

CONGRATULATIONS ! Let's all go out and roll in the dirt and think spring .

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Graduation Night

Monday night Karma and True received their certificates for novice obedience . Just seems like yesterday they were peeing on the floor and chasing their tails . My proud Daddy came to watch. He brought a pocketful of doggy treats for the grads , forgetting how sense of smell is number uno in the canine world and nearly ended up in a dog avalanche . Everything went well because the dogs were tested separately until the last event when we were together for the long sit and stay and long down . True saw his sister and cried like a baby and Karma broke her stays to see what her big brother was upset over . So we lost a few points because of sibling love . Big deal . We were proud mommies and our dogs love everybody and have amazing loving personalites . The snarly cocker may have won top dog but in the real world we are the winners . We plan to sign up again to fine tune our skills and help to make our dogs good canine citizens . I encourage anyone with a dog to take a course like this . It's a great night out , fun , and it trains you to be a responsible pet owner with an obedient and well soclialized dog .

Monday, March 12, 2007

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Ma

Thank you all for your missin' Ma messages . What you don't know is that you could have been missing me permanently if not for the angel on the wing of my plane . Let me first say that I am not one to enjoy flying but I do it because it is the only mode of transport to get you somewhere quickly and I have travelled to many wonderful places I would never have seen without airplanes . This year due to the fact I do not have a valid passport as of yet , travel to any hot resort was out of the question , so I made a spur of moment decision to head west . I left March 1st on a bright and sunny , clear day for Toronto to make my connection . If you have read the news you will know that Pearson was shut down due to a bad weather from the western provinces on that day . There I was on a full passenger Jazz with turbulence to make you sick and nothing to look at but white nothingness . I thought for sure it was my death day . .. and I don't think I was the only passenger with those thoughts . After circling what seemed forever the pilot announced we were running out of fuel and that he had to divert us to either Chicago or Kingston .
Twenty anxious minutes later I found myself stranded in the city of Kingston . First time this has ever happened to me on any vacation . Air Canada's offer was to refuel and send you back to Timmins with no flights out until the Monday . One lady chose that because she was feeling sick ( although I do recall she was eating a big pizza ) . So I had to make a choice , to rent a van with six British men and head back into the storm and for the airport or rent a room in Kingston and make alternative plans . I chose the latter along with 2 other women who were headed for Toronto and they chose a hotel for us because they knew the area . The Radisson was a nice place near the water and any other time I might have enjoyed the view . We ate together at the Keg ( grilled salmon and wine ) and shared our stories of life and family . Strangers became friends and we laughed about our situation and hoped the day would bring a travel solution and the weather behave for a while . They had a lap top and helped me to find another way out while they took Via Rail . I never saw them in the morning but left my business card for Chris and Jackie and hoped they made it back home safely . As for me .... I flew into the eye of the storm and made it through to write this post .