Tuesday, April 10, 2007

"It's the Time of the Season ..."

...for loving . " My little girl became a woman over the weekend . Not N@ ... my puppy is in her first heat . Karma is in season , ready to mate , reproduce , cycle of Proestrus , puberty , wag the tail ..whatever you care to call it . Apparently , a dog cycle lasts for 21 days twice a year . Whew . I have decided to delay her spaying not because I plan to have a litter but because the breeder suggests that a year to 15 months is a better option in order for her to develop her sexual hormones for female physical appearance and maturity . Karma is mentally and physically like a 9 year old girl right now . Not only that but there are facts pro and con that early spaying may lead to early incontinence in dogs . So far , it is no big deal . No male dogs are jumping over my fence , humping trees in the back yard or staring at us with lovesick eyes through the patio door. I start obedience class again next Monday night but the trainer told me not to worry about anything getting out of control . I am having these visions of a dog orgy and it being all my fault . She suggested a trip to the pet store to check out some dog Kotex. Excuse me . There is no way I am walking into that class with pink ruffled flowered doggy pull ups on my German Shepherd's hind end and that's final . A roll of paper towels will do just fine ...thank you very much . Love is in the air .

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

So are we to understand that when Dwan and N@ were teenagers, you often had male humans jumping over you fence , humping trees in the back yard or staring at you with lovesick eyes through the patio door?

Just askin' is all. Inquiring minds wanna know.

Sean Newbury said...

um, since NGB went 'there' I guess I'll be his accomplice....

... did they have pink ruffled flowered pull ups as well???

(You know, that would explain a lot about N@!)

Ma Horton said...

I had the pink ruffled pull ups bronzed . Too bad I cannot find matching ones for the class next week .( ..oh and my only explanation for N@ is my craving for cream of wheat when being preggo with her . )

JB said...

Okay - and I'm quoting you here - "A roll of paper towels will do just fine ...thank you very much"

...reminds me the number of times in my youth I'd say to a potential mate, "A roll of Saran Wrap will do just fine, you'll see"...but they just wouldn't go for it.

So, there I'd be, left out in the yard, humping a tree...

Ah, the twisted lines of thought you inspire in us, Donna Doughnut...It boggles.

Ma Horton said...

I have to tell you JB , that I am sitting here laughing out loud and I although I may have offered the thought ,you took it to the twisted level . I never knew young men humped trees too till there was you ...and as for the saran ..whats wrong with glad wrap ?

N@ Lauzon said...

I for one, am enjoying the following statement:

Karma is mentally and physically like a 9 year old girl right now.

What the..? You mean Karma's making out with Teen Beat posters of Corey Haim and wishing for her first training bra?

Anonymous said...

Ma, I can sure tell you only raised girls. Teenaged boys will hump just about anything, anytime, anywhere. I called my hockey team this year (all 14-year-old boys) Hormones on Skates. And even you, Ma, would blush at some of the conversations they tried to get me into. Of course, I would quickly change the subject or just walk away, because of the inappropriateness of a single, late-40s guy (or any adult) participating in said conversations.
By the way, I get together with the boys tonight for our hockey association banquet. Apparently, we'll have one more final hurrah at a party yet to be scheduled.

Sean Newbury said...

...more importantly, what flavour is her Bonne Bell Lip Smacker...

Or, more accurately, based on the history of this family... what's the SIZE of Karma's Bonne Bell Lip Smacker.

;-)

Ma Horton said...

Not sure if they sell doggie training bras ..but her nips are swollen .

JB said...

Ma -
You're still talking about Karma, right?

;-P

Ma Horton said...

Is this turning you on just a bit or what ?