Tuesday, July 03, 2007

What Happened To Ma Tonight ?

This is what happened to me tonight around 8 pm while Karma and I took our nightly walk on my quiet street . The bear came up between two houses up from the bush line . He must have known it was garbage day tomorrow . We stood frozen across the street the dog and I ... then my dog's curiosity turned into a barking challenge . The bear began to lope across the street . I pointed to a truck nearby to warn them . A truck ? We were the ones smelling like a bear appetizer not a piece of metal .Then I did what any God fearing woman would do . I ran like hell up the block dragging my guard dog behind me . That's what happened to me tonight . How was your night ?

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Never mind your nightly shot of brandy -- drink the whole damned bottle, or you'll never sleep.

Scary stuff. My Dad tells me there's a bear wandering around the cottage, too. I'm going there in 13 more sleeps, and we don't have indoor plumbing at the cottage. I don't want to be the victim of a bear's Big Mac Attack on my way to the outhouse!

Maybe N@ can send Farnsworth to Porcupine to guard you and Karma.

Kidding aside, I'm glad you and Karma are okay.

Ma Horton said...

You can see more bears in town than at the lake . They know where there is a garbage buffet every week . More and more bears are coming into urban areas . You read about it all the time in the north . When you actually encounter one like I did last night , you forget all the bear advice you have ever read and just panic .They have been known to take dogs as big as shepherds home for a evening meal.Today I am off to buy an air horn and some bear spray at Canadian Tire .

Anonymous said...

...and new, faster running shoes?

Sean Newbury said...

There have been multiple sightings in Quebec too. Ma is right, they know where the real feat is.

The air horns are a good idea for bears... they also work on Tele-marketers too! Trust me... Years ago, my old roommate and I were getting a 3-4 calls a week. We kept asking to be removed from their lists but they wouldn't. The last time I asked, I warned them, don't call again or you'll regret it. Well a couple days later we got a call, I got the horn. He held the phone and I shot a blast at the phone, from a respectable distance (3 me or so...) We repeated this 2 more times in the following week and MIRACULOUSLY the telemarketing calls stopped cold.

As for the beer spray, does it come in an eau de cologne version? Also does it come in a lite version... I'm trying to watch my figure...

Ma Horton said...

You need spellcheck today Kittycakes ..but knowing how you play with words maybe not .

Maria said...

The air horns are a good idea for bears... they also work on Tele-marketers too! Trust me...
OMG HOW FUNNY IS THAT? I still can't stop laughing!!!

Poor you Ma, I am glad it all worked out. Isn't there a scent that keeps bears away like OFF that keeps mosquito's away?

Ma Horton said...

Common sense is the only scent you need . Bears are becoming a major problem up north and some of that problem is because people do not LISTEN to the MNR advice . Do not leave garbage out . Do not feed the birds or the squirrels . Do clean your BBQ . Do not clean fish in an open area . Do not leave your dogs or cats outside unattended . All of this spells FOOD to a hungry bear .They make look cute but can swim , run and climb faster than you . I was lucky but there is always a next time and old Ma can't carry a shot gun but she can blow an air horn with the best of them .

Sean Newbury said...

Y do I kneed spelchek?

Anonymous said...

LMAO at the mental image of Ma packin' heat: a big old 12-gauge!

Don't f*** with M@, Yogi. She's a Mama Bear, too.

Anonymous said...

Y'know, Ma, if you want to get political about this, there are a lot more bears in the bush, and consequently wandering into town the past few years, because the provincial government cancelled the spring bear hunt when Harris was premier, and McGuinty hasn't seen fit to reinstate it.

You could get into philosophy about the morality of hunting anything, but aside from providing outfitters with a living, and bringing hunters (mostly American, but some Japanese and others) into Northern Ontario, the spring bear hunt did control the bear population.

I'm not arguing about garbage, barbecues and bird feeders, they're a big factor, too. But based on simple math, if there were fewer bears, there would be fewer urban incidents with them. And last time I checked, the black bear was not an endangered species.

Sean Newbury said...

Ok I want to throw this into the mix...

Why is it, humans are the only animal on the earth deemed acceptable to 'over-populate' How is it any other species, mammal, bird, fish, amphibian, reptile, insect or plant even, when it's numbers bound infinitely is somehow wrong? and therefore needs to be corrected? Don't get me wrong NGB, I see where you're going and I don't completely disagree. But, we are not native to this land, the animals are. We are encroaching in their territory not the other way round. And look at what a great job we are doing to not only it but the rest of the planet.

I'm sure if the animals could speak we'd be getting more than our deserved earful.

Ma Horton said...

Let's blame NGB for getting political.I have never been one to hunt or like the sound of guns . Seeing bloody moose heads displayed on vehicles in the fall makes me want to retch .As far as the bears are concerned ,to deny there is a problem would be plain stupidity . Bears are carnivores . Plain and simple they would see you as prey in an instant if they are hungry enough .Shooting them all would be a disgrace . Most of them fear humans and will run away from you .Unfortunately, more and more bears show no fear of humankind because we knowingly and unknowingly feed them.Relocation is partly the answer but not not if we continue to feed wild animals like we do our pets .As for the spring bear hunt , it's all political commercialism to me.Excuse me but untrained hunters in the bush scare me more than the bears .

T said...

One of the girls I work with carries bells with her when she walks to work in the morning. And sometime Thursday night, between 10 and 1:30, there was one in my backyard, which happens to be our parking lot. Glad you're ok mama...xo

JB said...

Okay -
From reading my blog about my hip replacement, you know I used to love to run...and one day, up the 'back road' where I lived, I had just passed my halfway mark and turned around (so, was kinda tired at this point) and there, ahead of me - about 300 yards or so - bounding out of the woods, was a black bear. I slowed WAYYYYY down, hoping he'd just keep going, not notice me, and jump back into the woods on the other side of the road. One of the reasons I loved running on this road was because there was rarely if ever any traffic on it, so if the bear saw me, I was in big trouble. Even as good a runner as I was, I had the good sense to know I wouldn't be able to outrun a bear for very long. Then, as fate would have it, a little red pickup truck sped around the corner, which scared the bear back into the woods. The truck stopped beside me, and the guy in the passenger seat rolled down his window, and with a perfectly straight face, said..."That your bear?"
I smiled politely and declined ownership of said animal, all of a sudden feeling a little more scared of the people in the truck than of the bear loose in the woods.
The first time I told this story, it was to my best friend (and rhythm guitar player in our band), Bruce, who then had a great laugh telling it to his father.
Bruce's dad has called me 'Running Bear' ever since.
True story.
By the way, it turned out the bear had escaped from a wildlife park about sixty miles away.

p.s. Glad you and Karma are okay.

Anonymous said...

Ma,
The MNR recommended in the paper last week, Hit the bear in the head with a shovel. First sound your horn, then run towards him with your Lee Valley transplanting shovel...handles are guaranteed not to break. Now that you know the right way to stun a bear....go get em Ma!

Maria said...

Reminds me of a joke I heard once where 2 friends were walking in the woods and they noticed a sign that said "Bear Crossing" so the first guy took his running shoes out of his napsak and put them on, the other fella looked at him and said "I don't think you will be able to outrun the bear even with running shoes on"... so the first fellow looked back at him and said "I don't need to outrun the bear, I just need to outrun YOU!"

Har! Har! Har!

Anonymous said...

the bears have been running around town for about 5 to 6 years now
city council did nothing as did the MNR. Bears are more important than people is the message .Don't
fix a small problem and it only gets bigger. One place had feeding
stations timmins didn't now they have a big problem. No bears were hurt in that town .LOTS shot in timmins

Anonymous said...

It's been longer than five or six years. It will be seven years in October since I left MCTV, and it was in the summer of 1999 or 2000 that I told it like it is on Noon Edition one day, saying the police and MNR couldn't get their act together. I almost immediately got phone calls from the cops and the MNR, and told them if the truth hurt, get together on it. The next day, they had a joint news conference to announce a plan -- one that obviously didn't work.

The one big solution staring the politicians in the face like a hungry bear is to reinstate the spring hunt, and bring the bear population under control. First, I can't believe that Mike Harris as a Northerner allowed it to be cancelled in the first place. Second, I can't believe that David Ramsay, the Northerner and natural resources minister, can't see that. He hides behind data collected by tree-hugging naturalists and biologists who rarely leave Downtown Toronto.

Getting off the soapbox again. Thanks for your time and attention.