Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Stitches , Bitches , and Pee Pee Problems

Karma had her stitches out this morning and all is well . She has her virginity in tact and although a part of me still yearns for breeding her I know I did the right thing . Whenever I visit my vet and we talk dogs I can never get used to him using the term bitch for the female dog . I know that is the proper terminology but it makes me wince for some reason . Monday night at dog class , an older fellow came up to Karma and I and said .. "Nice bitch " . For a fleeting moment I thought he meant me . I almost felt like we could rap a bit about it all before class . "Yo , ya me and ma beetch , we gettin' it on for the mannnn ". I hip hopped out quietly .
This morning after the vet visit , I took Karma for a walk in a local park . There was just us and an old man on a rusted old bike . As the dog and I turned the corner what to our wandering eyes should appear but the old guy pissin' up against the wall of the little league building . I know that the older you get the harder it is to hold your water but why do the male of the species think nothing of whipping it out in public to relieve themselves . There were public toilets available . I remember breaking up with one of my old boyfriends in high school simply because after our date he peed in our boulevard . Excuse me , call me a prude but I think that is crude , rude and grounds for dismissal . If I want my grass watered I will use a hose .
And why does water running make you have to go ? Drinking water I can see ...but running water ? Does that mean every tourist at Niagara Falls needs a bathroom ? Does rain give you the urge ? I know , I know ..deep thoughts for mid week . Bathroom break .

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're just jealous, Ma. :)

Why do men pee wherever and do things like writing their names in snowbanks? BECAUSE WE CAN. Learning how from Dad, Big Brother or whoever is a rite of manhood.

Now, as far as Old Man on Rusty Bike doing it in plain view in broad daylight, he needs a lesson in subtlety. He could have at least gone behind the building, out of plain view of every dog-walker and her bitch.

Rain and Niagara Falls don't make me have to pee (wouldn't you love to have the concession on pay toilets at Niagara Falls?), but running water does. Back before I had a dishwasher, every time I would fill the sink with water, I'd have to pee before washing the dishes. It's just one of those things. Often the same thing when I shave.

Ma Horton said...

One question ? So can you multi task when you shave ?

XUP said...

Because you can? There are a lot of things I "can" do, too, but I have the self-control to hold off doing until I am in the appropriate place for doing them. I "can" hike up my skirt and take a whizz next to a building, too. I wonder how that would go over in polite society?

JB said...

"why do the male of the species think nothing of whipping it out in public to relieve themselves"...
This is one of those "guy generalities" that really gets under my skin. I don't pull it out and urinate just anywhere, ever. Truth be told, I even hate using public bathrooms, let alone just pissin' anywhere. Comfort of my own home, thank you very much, and a public washroom only when I really have to. Otherwise, I go into "camel mode", and wait it out.
I just don't do it, and I'll bet there are a lot of guys like me who think it's wrong to just piss anywhere, too. They may not read your blog, but I'll bet they're out there.
I disagree with the whole 'rite of passage' thing. I personally think it's disgusting. Anyone who has walked up or down a stairwell in a public parking facility and smells that $%#&@* smell MUST agree - you've got to have pretty low self-esteem to do something like that.

On a lighter note, I also never leave the seat up, and there are about 15 other "guy generalities" that bug the sh*t out of me...but this is your blog, not mine, so one of these days I'll post them over on my blog, and give you a better idea why I don't 'fit in'.

Anonymous said...

Geez, I hope I didn't give you the impression that I relieve myself whenever and wherever the urge hits, because that is so far from the truth. I was having a bit of fun with the concept Ma brought up.

Everything in context; time and place, etc. On a tree at the cottage in the middle of the night, maybe, but certainly not in a public park in broad daylight.

JB said...

No, Bob, I think I know you well enough to know you're not pissin' all over the planet. I just disagree with your comment that it's "something we do" as men. It's something some men do. I just think that in most cases it's uncivilized. If I were to be camping or staying at a cabin out in the woods where there are no facilities, that's different. I'm liable to step in some other animals' crap when I'm out in the woods anyway.
The guy pissin' on the wall of the building as mentioned by Ma should be charged with indecency and property damage and fined.

Anonymous said...

Y'know, JB, I think we're agreeing here. We just have different ways of expressing our thoughts on this matter.

Ma Horton said...

Wee wee truce boys .

Anonymous said...

JB: Still friends? Can I still be Liam and Morgan's Cyberuncle Bob?

NGB

JB said...

...actually, my last post was supposed to reflect that - essentially - I agree with you. Sorry it didn't come across that way.

I still think that the old guy pissing on the side of the Little League building needs his ass kicked.